astrolocherry:

to have a virgo friend in life is to have a personal assistant, parent, best friend, teacher, mechanic, broadcaster, and critic in one cosmic combustion. virgos spend a lot of time counselling their friends and family, and although they are ruled by mercury, they are highly attentive listeners. virgos tend to listen more than they speak until they are very, very comfortable


Sep 01 12:03with 326 notes

mellowminty:

i’d really like some wireless waterproof earbuds for shower time

(Source: mellowminty)


Sep 01 10:02with 429,817 notes
  • me (dating a girl named liz and also taking a delicious lasagna out of the oven): hey anyone want some liz on ya? well you can't, she's mine. hahahaha. okay liz you can go home now I only dated you to make that joke

  • Sep 01 10:00with 15,189 notes

    nahshaw:

    "911 what’s your emergency?"

    it’s….. the president… he hasn’t been online for over 4 months…. i don’t think he’s alive

    image


    Sep 01 9:57with 142,723 notes

    ohshititsgreg:

    QUICK THERE’S NO TIME GRAB MY BONER


    Sep 01 9:14with 259,915 notes

    contraception:

    a support group for people who started saying YAAAAAAS ironically and now can’t stop


    Sep 01 9:07with 348,950 notes

    intensional:

    i left the house today to hang out with my friends and 3 of my family members just texted me saying “wow you left the house :o”


    Sep 01 9:06with 76,796 notes

    sowwy:

    I look cute right now my camera just doesn’t understand


    Sep 01 9:06with 200,936 notes

    sassykardashian:

    my heart says yes but my bank balance says no

    (Source: sassykardashian)


    Sep 01 9:06with 408,464 notes

    suffocateing:

    *walks out of exam*

    well i was successfully able to bullshit every answer on the test so i think i did okay

    (Source: devoures)


    Sep 01 7:59with 74,979 notes
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