arrogantdad:

my mom told me that in high school she use to get boyfriends at the beginning of February so they had enough time to get her a valentines day gift and then break up with them the day after and just keep the gift and one day she told her parents about it and they made her keep her boyfriend at least until the end of February and so she did and that boy is now my dad


Apr 23 21:46with 380,986 notes

atlasalpha:

suddenly realizing your friend sent you a message hours ago and you’ve just been accidentally ignoring them the entire time

image

(Source: piglii)


Apr 23 21:45with 167,172 notes

stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

If you ever think you did something embarrassing just remember that I had a really hot waiter one time and i was gonna order double pepperoni pizza but I looked him dead in the eye and accidentally asked for double penetration pizza in front of my whole family

Stop reblogging my failure


Apr 23 21:44with 51,832 notes

katkinkat:

i wish i could say “?????????” in real life it would be very useful

(Source: baebees)


Apr 23 21:29with 555,870 notes

jzul:

FINGERS ARE SO IMPORTANT I CANT EVEN IMAGINE MY LIFE WITOUT MY FINGERS I AM GETTING VERY EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW


Apr 23 21:25with 121,414 notes

telapathetic:

when someone tries to argue with me on a subject i know more aboutimage


Apr 23 21:23with 72,959 notes
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